Cyborgface

Expletive.

Fuck. Just, fuck. I almost threw my goddamn remote through my television 10 minutes ago. You seem I am on a quest. Simon’s Quest, if you would. I have decided to play though all the Castlevanias I could muster and/or find; starting with the NES original gangsta, Castlevania. This was something I never did. I have to admit it. I never played Castlevania anything until about two years ago when I bought a DS. I always assumed CV was for Nintendo Nerds, you know the kids who only played Nintendo. In actuality, I didn’t have Nintendo and instead had to go to a friends house to play it, so obviously, I only like multi-player games. Expect to hear me bitch and moan about this, because CV totally puts me in my place.If you remember CV I, then you may recall the wonderful world of Stage 10 in which our hero encounters fishmen, those little jumping things that drop from big birds in the sky, and the stupidly hard dragon skeletons. I. HATE. THIS. LEVEL. It upsets me to the point that I think I need to take some ADHD medicine. Do not be around me when I play they fucking level because I will redirect my anger. ARRGG. It’s so frustrating now, I can’t imagine what kids did when every attempt was futile! Alas.Here is a list I stole from some blog somewhere which will give you an idea of what I’m up against.. It lists the CVs in chronological order by release. I haven’t figure out whether I’ll play em in order of release or story line. As of now, I have not set a date, but let’s say Feburary of next year. Feasible? Ludicrous? YOU DECIDE. Well, I guess I’ll decide, but whatevs.

1. Castlevania (1986; NES, Famicom, MSX) – Simon Belmont
2. Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest (1988; NES) – Simon Belmont
3. Haunted Castle (1988; Arcade) – Simon Belmont
4. Castlevania Adventure (1989; GB) – Christopher Belmont
5. Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse (1990; NES) – Trevor Belmont
6. SuperCastlevania IV (1991; SNES) – Simon Belmont
7. Castlevania 2: Belmont’s Revenge (1991; GB) – Christopher Belmont
8. Akumajou Dracula-X: Rondo of Blood (1993; PC Engine Super CD-ROM2. Turbo Duo – Japan Only) – Richter Belmont
9. Castlevania: Bloodlines (1994; Genesis) – John Morris / Eric Lacarde
10. Castlevania: Dracula X (1995; SNES) – Richter BelmontCastlevania: Symphony of the Night (1997; PlayStation, Sega Saturn) – Alucard
11. Castlevania Legends (1998; Game Boy) – Sonia Belmont
12. Castlevania 64 (1999; N64) – Reinhardt Schneider
13. Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness (1999; N64) – Cornell
14. Castlevania Chronicles (2001; PlayStation) – Simon Belmont
15. Castlevania: Circle of the Moon (2001; GBA) – Nathan Graves
16. Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance (2002; GBA) – Juste Belmont
17. Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow (2003; GBA) – Soma Cruz
18. Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (2003: PS2) – Leon Belmont
19. Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow (2005; DS) – Soma Cruz
20. Castlevania: Curse of Darkness (2005; PS2, Xbox) – Hector
21. Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin (2006; DS) – Jonathan Morris
22. Castlevana: The Dracula X Chronicles (2007; PSP) – Richter Belmont

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